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| is feeling content a myth ? |
Why do I bother finding meaning of my life ? Why can't I just act in a way where I don't have to think about taking decisions and bear their consequences? I sometimes think that the greatest illusion (bigger than the religion itself) one can latch himself on to, is the freedom of choice. It's the intrinsic desire of human existence that keeps us randomly wander through choices. Why can't I just sit back and let the world decide what would I become?
Sometimes I wonder what a crazy person feels inside his head ? Are these tumultuous, perpetual thoughts which I believe reside inside a normal brain bother him as well or there is an utter silence ? If later is the case, ain't we all crave these episodes for ourselves where there should be no thought? What if somehow they unlocked an the hidden chests of eternal piece and this is how a serene state of mind looks like? It's like sane and insane both type of people are standing in a dimly lit room and feeling other one is at the darker end.
At this moment I can remember a beautiful movie of Jim Carry's, The eternal sunshine of spotless mind. What portion of my memory would I want to be wiped out if supposedly there exist a technology like that? While experiences and meanings are subjective, It's funny how we create our own sorrows and try to win over them, all inside this big walnut of ours, the brain. It's like watching your left hand fighting with your right hand to lift a cane off the ground. I have always considered Nihilism as a contingency plan of people who don't want to try but may be I have been wrong all along. May be there is no such thing as happiness, only varying degree of unhappiness.
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